Life Lessons

I am in the place that makes me happy.  Gerroa.  I haven't ventured here for a while. Life got busy.  Doing stuff.  

I was chatting to a "Gerroa" friend.  And believe me.  You tend to separate your every day life from your "holiday" life.  And I was brutally honest with him.  I am saddened by the lack of, well anything, from people I thought were my friends.  Let me explain...  I think I give a lot.  And I don't expect much in return.  I am a happy person.  I go out of my way to make sure my friends are ok.  But this last 6 months have taught me a lot.  I've learned that people don't like it when the naturally happy person they have always taken for granted becomes, well, a bit sad.

I can count on one hand the people who have kept in contact.  I can count on the one hand the people who have said "are you okay?".

I know people have lives. Busy lives.  But I wonder when people became, detached.

And I am not talking about my "social media" friends.  I am talking about people who have been a part of my life for many years. Every week.  Face to face.

In my life, at present, there is Lily and I.  Lily is a cat, for those who didn't know.  Sometimes I don't venture outside my house for 4 days on end.  And no one knows.  How did I become this person? 

I have come to realise that a lot of my friends are actually not my friends. They added a thin layer of veneer to an empty life.  Thanks for that.

I know I will be okay. I know I will get by.  I know that just because people don't contact you doesn't mean they don't care.  But at the moment I really just want to walk away from my life and be somewhere else.  Not here.

But I do know that one day it will be better.  Just not today and not tomorrow. But one day.