0.01%

I am free!  Read into that, unemployed, but free!  I have spent the last few days binging on Netflix, staying in my PJ's and spending the days with my girls (Lily and Poppy, my cats, I am a mad old cat lady).

In between doing this I lunched with an old friend and we ate, we drank, we laughed and we reflected on the last 15 years.  And he made a comment that I could not disagree with.  He said, we, as in he and I (and his family of two beautiful children and lovely wife) are in the top 0.01% of the population (in Sydney).  We suffer no financial hardship.  We can pay our bills and we do not worry where the next dollar comes from.  We can have lunch in nice places, have drinks with friends, buy nice things for our home and just take it day by day.  The only things we want for are things we do not need.  We want them but we do not need them.

We are not lucky.  We made our own luck.  We worked hard.  And we are in an okay position in life.  But it was hard work and sacrifice to get us to this point.

So as I go onto the next chapter, what ever that is, I need to remember that.

Axxxx

A Big Week...

I did three brave things this week.  Although brave could be a bit over stated.  One could be considered idiotic and two brave..

First the idiotic .  I resigned.  I resigned from my job.  The corporate lunacy that has made me sick to the stomach for a while.  I was calm.  Concise.  But I am sad also.  I have spent nearly 6 years of my life there and I have learned so much from so many talented and kind people.  But it is time to go find something new to do - and take a very long break and put myself back together after 3 very long years personally.

The second thing is I finished, for good, with a toxic person in my life.  The one who once upon a time made me smile, who made my do mad things but who ended up being the one person who continually broke my heart.  It was soooo much fun but one of us had to call time.  I called time.  About 14 months too late  But I wasn't always a quick learner.

Third, I hung my hat on trying to get the body corporate in my unit block, the unit I only bought 4 months ago, to listen and act on a leak in my unit that affects not only me but most of them.  They are a bunch of whiny morons who want to complain about EVERYTHING but want to take no action.  They hide behind faceless emails yet we pass one and other in the hall way weekly.  Here's cheers guys - when my roof collapses and everyone is in awe of the how and why, I tried to tell you for months this was a problem. You would not listen.  So now I will wait for it to collapse.  And worry about it then.

I am not sure where I belong anymore.  It's not my old life - those people have no idea how to talk to me these days (point and case at a gathering today for a friend's birthday - I spent 4 hours smiling and trying not to break down - these people were once my friends, so I thought, now they avoid me like the plague, so I spent a lot of time watching the footy and just smiling).  It is not my new life - I haven't managed to make one yet (except with said toxic person, so that's no good).  I just have to keep trying.  But even the strongest people eventually break.  If someone asks me "are you okay" I think I will just break down.  But I probably won't.  I will say I am fine, how are you?  I'll save the break down for the nights.